Now I'm really messed up

I have pretty much shelved my fiction writing for now. I don't have the time to learn to do it right, really. And I don't have the time to apply what I already know.

I still have countless stories I want to tell; images and climaxes reel crazily through my head most of the day. But I really just have to support my family right now.

I received my notice about BYU's Conference for Writers and Illustrators today. The conference is in June and I had no (again.. NO) intention of going. Tracy and Laura Hickman will be there, doing the SciFi/Fantasy workshop.

Good heavens what do I do now? If I go I will have to pay the huge fee, but then I get to worship at Tracy Hickman's feet. And three editors will be there. And I do have a book I want to publish, and I think it's good and I just need to make it better.

Argh.

What do I do? No, seriously. I really need help with this.

What do I do?

I have to decide fast if I'm going to be able to sign up for the workshop I want.

HELP!