So just how many senses are there?

Alrighty then. ....

Trying to think of a clever opening.

Oh well, nothing doing. Here's today's writing exercise:

Write, for ten to fifteen minutes, a narrative in which the setting is described in terms of the senses. All of the senses. That would be the five: touch, taste, hearing, smell, sight.

Now I think we do have a sixth sense: one that we should trust more than the others, but that is neither here nor there.

Nor thither, nor yonder, nor hither.

What were we talking about?

Oh yeah, my writing exercise. So I'm going to write, not exactly freewrite, but more or less... freewrite, for about fifteen minutes. The setting will be described as regards the senses of the character.

This is a continuation of my last writing exercise. Please go to: http://quitandwrite.blogspot.com/2009/04/writing-exercise-flunky.html if you need to review that post.

In the eternal words of Mario the plumber: Here we go!

I dug my fingers into what I had thought were almost rotting boards, expecting on some level that they might tear into spongy bits. Not so much. Splinters slid, smooth and hot, up under my fingernails.

I stopped scrabbling at the boards and tried the wiggling strategy.

The T-Y, let's just call it TY from now on, to save time, shall we? grunted/farted in its mouth, its sharp teeth jabbing through the skin of my right ankle. "Stop you must! To the ship we go! Food delivered it must be!"

Even through the terror and heavy smell of fish clogging my nose, I mentally paused to figure out that last one. The food had to be delivered. Was I the food?

No, TY had torn open my cash-filled backpack and had declared that I had food.

I wasn't the meal. Was it going to eat my perfectly hard-earned cash?

"Let me go!" I shouted, twisting and jacknifing my body to try and get some purchase on the wet boards. By now I felt splinters and slimy moisture on my stomach, my shirt having found its way up to my chin.

A post. Through the fog I saw rope tied around a vertical post. I flung my body at it. The moment my fingers reached it, I stretched and snaked my arms around it. It stunk like... well... hundred year old wood would stink after being next to the ocean for so long.

TY mouth-farted again. "Let go you will! Late you make us!"

"Screw that!" I yanked hard. Fire in the ankle and the flavor of agony in my mouth, tasting like a hot copper penny. Yeah, my foot just about came off. Wasn't going to do that again. Scrapped that plan. Let it go the way of the dodo.

You get the point. I wanted to keep my foot.

"Food you have. Delivered it we will!"

"Where the hell are you taking me?" In hindsight, I have to say I had adapted well from a perfectly calm heist, I mean... okay, my money was ill gotten. Okay, it was from blackmail.

Anyway, that had been a normal con, but now I was having a conversation with some kind of cold-blooded dog-lizard. I heard seagulls fighting in the background; creaking masts and hulls against the pier. And there I was, gripping what felt and tasted like a driftwood post while this creature chewed on my ankle. I was coping admirably.

"To the ship we go!" A firm tug ended the brief, but valiant on my end, battle: I really wanted to keep my foot. Keeping limbs was the better part of valor.

Realizing I couldn't win a tug of war against this thing, I focused on keeping the number of bruises and abrasions on my body to a minimum. My knees felt like they were bleeding from the rough bumping over the pier boards, my stomach was a pin-- or splinter-- cushion.

I was supposed to be getting home and hiding my latest earnings in my stash.. but no... TY had shown up and was now dragging me to a boat.

What was next? Was a munchkin waiting for me? A green witch?

Suddenly TY turned onto what must have been a boat, although since I was still on my gut, I really couldn't tell. A wash of light, almost warm in its yellow brightness, brushed my neck and head, expanding as we got closer to it.

Okeedokee, that's where we must stop. About fifteen minutes there.

Did I get all of the senses?

You can't tell, but I went one direction about 2/3 through, but didn't like it, so I went back and went this way. Tried going a little more fantasy, but didn't feel right.

So, I'll be back next week to do some more. Should be exciting, effervescent, and so deeply moving you will weep.

Crap, sorry... Van Morrison's on Pandora. He makes me get overwrought and poetic (mainly because I want to be like him, but can't pull it off). Gonna have to skip.

If you've enjoyed this song about Finland, or would like to know mo-...

Sorry again, got off track.

Right. Share this post. Share this blog. You have my permission to put a link to this blog on your blog, your Facebook, your MySpace, your whatever else.

You may even write the link on your forehead. In permanent marker. No seriously, that's just fine.

Just share.

First comes report...

then comes marriage. Then comes baby in the baby carriage!

You might think that I'm just being random now; that I am stretching for an interesting opening to my posts on this site. You might think this is my desperate grab at increasing and maintaining readership.

You'd be wrong. It's Hambone.

No, seriously. I have some rather surprising news that is actually related!

I wasted an entire afternoon at a friggin' oil and lube joint. Got there at 2:50PM and left there at 4:25PM. This is my first wasted afternoon in ages, and to me it was a surprise. And um... oil.. is used to lubricate the carriage of an engine?

Hmm.. that's a stretch.

How about this: After the lube joint, I went to IFA to pick up two more chicks, since we had called and they had reported that they had new ones. So I went to get baby chickens. That's related right?

Of course, they didn't have sexed chicks (in other words, the gender hadn't been determined yet), nor did they have any that they could say for sure were laying hens. So I didn't get any. Maybe tomorrow.

Okay, not as bad of a stretch, right? Try this last on for size: I reported to my temporary sponsor for the first time. Not my AA sponsor, I report to her on Thursday evenings (only kidding). No, this was my temporary sponsor in the Master's program which I will be beginning in the Fall. At BYU. Studying IP&T. (Instructional Psychology and Technology)

So now I covered carriage, baby and report. Good enough.

Wait, did you think I was going to announce that we were going to have another baby? Not any time soon, nope. In case you didn't know: we have five kids, the youngest of which is ten months old.

On to my writing report. (Hallelujah! Hope you've stuck around til now.)

I got a financial fitness article onto LDSLiving.com's website yesterday. They also sent it out as part of their e-mail to subscribers. Apparently that e-mail goes to about 50,000 people.

Very happy thing yesterday, no?

I sold two articles to a Real Estate website a few days ago. They sold for $10 each. Not terrible. Not tons, but hey, what can you do.

I added another personal finance lesson to http://personalfinancegym.blogspot.com. Check it out!

And this blog had over 100 hits in under a week. Awesome!

I have a lot more writing to do over the next week. I'll probably be back next Thursday to update.

May I impose upon any reader(s) of this blog to please share the link on your Facebook, on Digg, Reddit, or on your own blog? I am always happy to link to other quality blogs as well. My intention is to build this blog so that I have 100 hits/day, rather than per week. Then, well, the sky's the limit.

Above this post, you will probably have already seen today's writing exercise. Share it too!

Shameless self promoting

Yep. Here I go again. Once again, I have an article featured on the front page of one of the most exciting websites on the Internet.

Here's the link. Click and learn about what you should do in preparation for Spring's first mowing.

http://www.helium.com/items/983491-lawn-mowing-tips-for-springs-first-cutting

Share it. Love it. Give me some cookies and cream ice cream. Make me an offer I can't refuse.

This blog...

is now re-launched.

Note the lovely new colors.

Love the beautiful icons at the end of each post, which enable readers to share my posts on social networking sites.

Behold the fact that my posts each have their own unique URL that you can link to from your own blog, your Facebook, your Twitter or whatever else.

In the future, posts will begin with a quick update on my progress in my writing career. I will often include links to articles I write, as this is a good way to increase my page rank for both my articles and my blog.

Next will be some kind of writing exercise. It could be a quick character study, a description of a conflict, a plot device.. or whatever. The point of these, and the gimmick here, is that these will be things I use in my current book.

My current novel is a YA fantasy novel about a kid named Roger Hollacher. The day he gets a job, he is attacked by young men from his high school. Problem: the young men seem to transform back and forth from humans to evil-looking, hairy, toothy creatures with glowing red eyes.

Roger doesn't know it yet, but he holds power over the earth because of his connection to creation.

Tingles yet?

He will have to learn to wield his power fast to save his parents and to stop the big baddy from gaining almost total power.

And that's all for now. Come back lots! Share my posts. We can trade blog URLs so we can increase each other's rank and traffic.

Let's use this Internet thing.