My first interview!

Hey!

My interview this morning went well. I'm not talking about a job interview either. I'm talking about the type of interview where a public figure is interviewed by somebody else so that viewers can learn more about that public figure.

I was the public figure interviewed.

It was way more fun than I had expected. That's probably because I love talking about myself far too much. Narcissism FTW!

Here's the link to the interview. http://pagereaders.com/?p=18

Check it out. I even read part of a chapter of my 2nd novel: The Cabin.

Back later.

So just how many senses are there?

Alrighty then. ....

Trying to think of a clever opening.

Oh well, nothing doing. Here's today's writing exercise:

Write, for ten to fifteen minutes, a narrative in which the setting is described in terms of the senses. All of the senses. That would be the five: touch, taste, hearing, smell, sight.

Now I think we do have a sixth sense: one that we should trust more than the others, but that is neither here nor there.

Nor thither, nor yonder, nor hither.

What were we talking about?

Oh yeah, my writing exercise. So I'm going to write, not exactly freewrite, but more or less... freewrite, for about fifteen minutes. The setting will be described as regards the senses of the character.

This is a continuation of my last writing exercise. Please go to: http://quitandwrite.blogspot.com/2009/04/writing-exercise-flunky.html if you need to review that post.

In the eternal words of Mario the plumber: Here we go!

I dug my fingers into what I had thought were almost rotting boards, expecting on some level that they might tear into spongy bits. Not so much. Splinters slid, smooth and hot, up under my fingernails.

I stopped scrabbling at the boards and tried the wiggling strategy.

The T-Y, let's just call it TY from now on, to save time, shall we? grunted/farted in its mouth, its sharp teeth jabbing through the skin of my right ankle. "Stop you must! To the ship we go! Food delivered it must be!"

Even through the terror and heavy smell of fish clogging my nose, I mentally paused to figure out that last one. The food had to be delivered. Was I the food?

No, TY had torn open my cash-filled backpack and had declared that I had food.

I wasn't the meal. Was it going to eat my perfectly hard-earned cash?

"Let me go!" I shouted, twisting and jacknifing my body to try and get some purchase on the wet boards. By now I felt splinters and slimy moisture on my stomach, my shirt having found its way up to my chin.

A post. Through the fog I saw rope tied around a vertical post. I flung my body at it. The moment my fingers reached it, I stretched and snaked my arms around it. It stunk like... well... hundred year old wood would stink after being next to the ocean for so long.

TY mouth-farted again. "Let go you will! Late you make us!"

"Screw that!" I yanked hard. Fire in the ankle and the flavor of agony in my mouth, tasting like a hot copper penny. Yeah, my foot just about came off. Wasn't going to do that again. Scrapped that plan. Let it go the way of the dodo.

You get the point. I wanted to keep my foot.

"Food you have. Delivered it we will!"

"Where the hell are you taking me?" In hindsight, I have to say I had adapted well from a perfectly calm heist, I mean... okay, my money was ill gotten. Okay, it was from blackmail.

Anyway, that had been a normal con, but now I was having a conversation with some kind of cold-blooded dog-lizard. I heard seagulls fighting in the background; creaking masts and hulls against the pier. And there I was, gripping what felt and tasted like a driftwood post while this creature chewed on my ankle. I was coping admirably.

"To the ship we go!" A firm tug ended the brief, but valiant on my end, battle: I really wanted to keep my foot. Keeping limbs was the better part of valor.

Realizing I couldn't win a tug of war against this thing, I focused on keeping the number of bruises and abrasions on my body to a minimum. My knees felt like they were bleeding from the rough bumping over the pier boards, my stomach was a pin-- or splinter-- cushion.

I was supposed to be getting home and hiding my latest earnings in my stash.. but no... TY had shown up and was now dragging me to a boat.

What was next? Was a munchkin waiting for me? A green witch?

Suddenly TY turned onto what must have been a boat, although since I was still on my gut, I really couldn't tell. A wash of light, almost warm in its yellow brightness, brushed my neck and head, expanding as we got closer to it.

Okeedokee, that's where we must stop. About fifteen minutes there.

Did I get all of the senses?

You can't tell, but I went one direction about 2/3 through, but didn't like it, so I went back and went this way. Tried going a little more fantasy, but didn't feel right.

So, I'll be back next week to do some more. Should be exciting, effervescent, and so deeply moving you will weep.

Crap, sorry... Van Morrison's on Pandora. He makes me get overwrought and poetic (mainly because I want to be like him, but can't pull it off). Gonna have to skip.

If you've enjoyed this song about Finland, or would like to know mo-...

Sorry again, got off track.

Right. Share this post. Share this blog. You have my permission to put a link to this blog on your blog, your Facebook, your MySpace, your whatever else.

You may even write the link on your forehead. In permanent marker. No seriously, that's just fine.

Just share.

First comes report...

then comes marriage. Then comes baby in the baby carriage!

You might think that I'm just being random now; that I am stretching for an interesting opening to my posts on this site. You might think this is my desperate grab at increasing and maintaining readership.

You'd be wrong. It's Hambone.

No, seriously. I have some rather surprising news that is actually related!

I wasted an entire afternoon at a friggin' oil and lube joint. Got there at 2:50PM and left there at 4:25PM. This is my first wasted afternoon in ages, and to me it was a surprise. And um... oil.. is used to lubricate the carriage of an engine?

Hmm.. that's a stretch.

How about this: After the lube joint, I went to IFA to pick up two more chicks, since we had called and they had reported that they had new ones. So I went to get baby chickens. That's related right?

Of course, they didn't have sexed chicks (in other words, the gender hadn't been determined yet), nor did they have any that they could say for sure were laying hens. So I didn't get any. Maybe tomorrow.

Okay, not as bad of a stretch, right? Try this last on for size: I reported to my temporary sponsor for the first time. Not my AA sponsor, I report to her on Thursday evenings (only kidding). No, this was my temporary sponsor in the Master's program which I will be beginning in the Fall. At BYU. Studying IP&T. (Instructional Psychology and Technology)

So now I covered carriage, baby and report. Good enough.

Wait, did you think I was going to announce that we were going to have another baby? Not any time soon, nope. In case you didn't know: we have five kids, the youngest of which is ten months old.

On to my writing report. (Hallelujah! Hope you've stuck around til now.)

I got a financial fitness article onto LDSLiving.com's website yesterday. They also sent it out as part of their e-mail to subscribers. Apparently that e-mail goes to about 50,000 people.

Very happy thing yesterday, no?

I sold two articles to a Real Estate website a few days ago. They sold for $10 each. Not terrible. Not tons, but hey, what can you do.

I added another personal finance lesson to http://personalfinancegym.blogspot.com. Check it out!

And this blog had over 100 hits in under a week. Awesome!

I have a lot more writing to do over the next week. I'll probably be back next Thursday to update.

May I impose upon any reader(s) of this blog to please share the link on your Facebook, on Digg, Reddit, or on your own blog? I am always happy to link to other quality blogs as well. My intention is to build this blog so that I have 100 hits/day, rather than per week. Then, well, the sky's the limit.

Above this post, you will probably have already seen today's writing exercise. Share it too!

Who wants to see a byline?

Come on, you know you want to.

Here's the goal: overload LDSLiving.com's server.

http://www.ldsliving.com/magazine/show/1988/How-to-Avoid-Foreclosure:-Loan-Modification

Yes, that is an article of mine on the LDS Living website. It was also sent with their e-mail to some tens of thousands of eager readers.

Share it and share it and share it! Link to this post, to the article.. whatever.

carpe somnium

Writing Exercise- flunky

You might ask: What does 'flunky' have to do with writing exercises? Funny you should ask, because I'm having trouble finding a way to meld a slick answer to that question into the meat of my post.

No dice. My cogitation has failed. There is a total paucity of ideas vis-a-vis the melding into the meat.

Have I failed?

Perish the thought! I haven't even done my writing exercise yet. I've gotten plenty of other exercise though, phew. I walked about 3 1/2 miles on Wednesday (I always have to stop as I write that day's name... the D goes BEFORE the N...) and I walked about a mile and a half yesterday.

Still overly weighted.

Okay, so flunky. Today's writing exercise is the choosing of random words and then a ten minute freewrite, using the random words. What is it supposed to do? Jumpstart the creative engine. Get the creative juices flowing. Nurture creative seeds to burst forth and bloom. Saute the creative meat... nope. That one didn't work.

Here's how I will get my random words. I shall go to an article on http://www.bbc.com/ and choose the seventh noun, the fifteenth noun, and the first active verb. Here they come.

Ship, pirates, escape.

Okay, those are my random words. I shall now use them all in a brief, free-written narrative. This will be a ten minute freewrite.

In the word of Inigo Montoya: Begin.

Last night might have been the most ridiculous night of my life. There I was innocently, no seriously, walking along a deserted pier on a mist-blanketed waterfront, a backpack bursting with unmarked bills on my back, and I saw a dog.

I say dog, but what I really mean is the most terrifying creature ever seen. Allow me to explain. It had four legs, a long tail, and a long tongue that gave it the impression of panting. But I think maybe it was a cold-blooded creature of some kind that used its tongue to taste the world around it.

But that was no dog. Nope. Its shoulders came to about as high as my navel, I'm 5' 10", and if it had stood on its hind legs, its head would have been higher than me. In the mist-blanketed dark, it looked like it had fur, but that wasn't fur anyone should pet. Its body was actually covered in scale-like stuff, not small enough to be cilia, but numerous enough to look like fur. It stuck up all over the body, at varying angles, so you couldn't have even petted the thing with the grain of its fur/scales.

The last thing I should mention is that its eyes glowed pale yellow. No, there was one more thing... It spoke.

The dog thingamajig said, "You are he?"

I stopped, my heart hammering like a pneumatic hammer on meth. I grunted, although I had meant to say, "Uh?"

The thing made a noise that sounded like a cross between an old train and a.. well.. a fart. "You. You it is that I wait for?"

Okay, so now the thing had become a terrifying Yoda. "Nope!" I turned to escape what I was sure was my imminent doom. I got about fifteen feet before something landed on my back. Something. Right. Terrifying Yoda, I mean.

"You it is! Food you carry!" Terrifying Yoda tore at my backpack with its teeth.

I scrabbled at the old wooden planks. Nothing doing. Cool breath blew on my neck. Suddenly a tearing sound.

"Found! To the ship we go!" The T-Y grabbed my foot in its huge mouth and, breaking the skin only slightly, proceeded to drag me down the pier, turning right down a path were a bunch of ships were moored.

And now my time is up.

Interesting. Might have to pursue that one.

So that's a good writing exercise for any creative writer who's just trying to get things going. Devise a way that you can get several random words, then give yourself ten minutes to free-write something. The activity is uncontrolled enough that your imagination is given free rein to roam (alliteration!), but there is enough structure to keep things civilized.

You might have noticed I didn't use 'pirates' in the free-write. I was getting there. I didn't have a way to put it into the narrative that was taking shape without it being forced or artificial.

This writing exercise was adapted from one I found on http://www.ofb.net/~lisa/exercise.html, which is one of the many handy writer sites out there.

Wasn't that fun? Go do it yourself now. No, really, go do it. This kind of activity is refreshing and somewhat liberating. It can help you overcome writer's block, get you out of a rut, or just kick start your day.

If you love this post, or even if you don't, pass it along. Share the link for this blog or this post on all kinds of sites. Digg, reddit, delicious, Facebook-- all of them work. Come back soon!

Work Update

Right-o.

Right-O?

Whatever the case (get it? hehe) may be, it's time to update Quit and Write, so grab your tasty beverage and perhaps an oreo or two; it just might be a long and mildly wild ride.

Ooh, assonance. Love it.

Incidentally, I'm in love with punctuation. The semi-colon particularly. I love that puny piece of punctuation (alliteration!) so much I sometimes fabricate ways to use it.

Anyway, back to the task at hand. At fingertips. On lap.

I've been busy of late. Last week I shared how I had been kept quite busy with some writing of long, multitudinous passages. Well, I got paid for that, so that's freakin' awesome. Love getting paid to write.

I have since spent time reviewing passages and doing some revising, for that same project. All of which I will be getting paid for as well.

Now I have some more work to do for that company. All good, no?

Also, I've been working furiously on getting some more web-based writing revenue coming in. First, I wrote a couple real estate articles for www.helium.com. I can't share them because they are currently being considered for purchase by www.realtor.com. I wrote two, and if they choose both, that's a $400 payday. I pray often for this to work out.

I even did serious research for those pieces. Called real estate agents and stuff.

Now I'm working on a piece about the growing movement to keep chickens in suburban yards. I'm considering making it an expose on cities who have their heads stuck in the sand. Cities like Provo.

So in the last week I've written three financial fitness lessons. Two of them are on http://personalfinancegym.blogspot.com. I also put together some sales e-mails, and...

(how to embed a drumroll soundtrack?)

a piece that should be appearing in LDS Living's April e-mail to subscribers. That would be about 50,000 people. Worldwide.

I'm excited about that. (No pay, but exposure is nice, eh?)

I am pushing hard with trying to get others to link to my blogs on other websites. This is beginning to pick up some with my financial fitness blog. I've got a link shared on the Best Friends Network. Best Friends Animal Society is a large animal shelter in southern Utah.

I'm going to start learning about grant writing soon... just as soon as I finish mastering the art of the white paper. I'm nearly done with that, so shortly any companies who need white paper written up, contact me because I will be crafting meticulous and magnificent white papers.

A white paper is a long brochure, essentially. 3000 words or so about a company's offering.

As for novel writing, I haven't been able to make time, what with trying to pay bills and increase my non-fiction exposure. However, I do have a writing exercise for the next post. That post will arrive tomorrow. I call this the trickle-in method.

So now I must go. I need to get today's http://powersderived.blogspot.com piece finished and posted.

Check out my other sites. Share on networking sites. Digg, reddit, and stuff are all good places to share.

Shameless self promoting

Yep. Here I go again. Once again, I have an article featured on the front page of one of the most exciting websites on the Internet.

Here's the link. Click and learn about what you should do in preparation for Spring's first mowing.

http://www.helium.com/items/983491-lawn-mowing-tips-for-springs-first-cutting

Share it. Love it. Give me some cookies and cream ice cream. Make me an offer I can't refuse.

Stuff I wrote that I can share

I wrote a rather spiffy lesson on debt consolidation. It's on my financial blog:
http://personalfinancegym.blogspot.com

It's also on www.helium.com: http://www.helium.com/items/1398841-pros-and-cons-of-debt-consolidation

Check it out. Share it. Love it. Give me jelly beans.

You must do at least two of the above.

Character Sketch

Okay, so I mentioned a few posts (and weeks) ago that the novel I'm plugging away at is a fantasy about a kid named Roger who has power over the earth. He's got to find an ancient power source before his antagonist (unnamed and really quite fuzzy at this point.. maybe that's the next writing exercise...) gets to it.

Thing is, I need a friend for Roger, who goes by Roh. Pronounced like the way you say salmon eggs. (Roe) Roh is turning sixteen and is not the most popular of people. He's marvelously overweight and has a great home life, so he hasn't needed friends much. But he needs to have one I think.

So today's writing exercise is a character sketch of Roh's friend. I have some ideas, but as I put them down here, I hope to expand on them. Please, if any readers have thoughts or suggestions, pass them on. Umm.. wait a sec.. Pandora is playing "The Lady in Red," which doesn't get my creative juices going at all.

Skipped.

Nice. Journey's "Don't Stop Believin"

Okay here goes.

Character: Roh's friend.

• Name: (I'll get back to this.) Okay, his name is Aiden Pope.
• Gender: (If I typed 'sex' here would I get more hits?) Male. (Roh's a shy sixteen year old boy.)
• Age: Fourteen or fifteen.
• Description: Blond, usually messy hair. Blue eyes with a nose that looks like a boxer's but is actually a family heirloom. About 5' 7" and lean. Long arms. Avid reader and a great debater. Has a high voice. Wears contacts because he hates glasses. Always wears khakis and T-shirts. Round face with a square chin that is flat in front.
• Family: Mom and dad still married. Two sisters, both pretty. Roh likes the older one.
• Goals: Wants to go to Evergreen State College in Tacoma, Washington for two reasons: he hates the heat of Arizona (where the book takes place) and wants to study liberal arts, especially writing and literature. Problem with this is that Evergreen students have a reputation for the use of liberating substances and Aiden has strong morals. Wants to be friends with people and is good at making friends because he's a good talker and can always think of interesting things to talk about. Sees what is going on with Roh, doesn't understand it and doesn't get why Roh doesn't just tell him everything. Notices the changes in Roh's physical appearance and is scared but intrigued. Makes an extra effort to be there for Roh after the tragedy with Roh's parents.
• Overall: A good person who is generally liked. He has a crush on the English teacher, Ms. Spendlove, who is unmarried and very smart. Unfortunately, he is not very brave and when something dangerous happens, he loses his head, not physically. This bothers him, but he is scared of being in another dangerous situation, because he doesn't know how he will react. Aiden is actually very religious and sometimes has trouble understanding how God could let some things happen.

Okay, that's good stuff. I like his goals and how some of them are in conflict. I think I should do this every time my story happens upon another character. Any thoughts? Have I left anything out? Sure, there are some pay-offs that I'm not getting into, like his crush and his fear, but that will come out in the story.

Probably next time I will do this for the antagonist. Alrighty then.

Carpe somnium!

Writing career report, then a character sketch.

Before getting into today's writing exercise, I am supposed to report on my writing of late. As regular reader(s?) know, (thanks Aunt Edna!) I recently re-tooled this blog so that it could function as both a way for me remain accountable and keep readers in the loop, as well as a place for me to do some writing exercises.

So my recent writing has been rather substantial. Back on March 12th, I received an e-mail from an acquaintance/colleague with whom I had worked as an ESL teacher for BYU. She had moved on from the intensive English program we both taught at to become the ESL director for a local company that creates literacy software.

Now this next bit is a testimonial as to why you want to constantly be trying to expand your network when you're a freelancer.

So last year, probably in October or November or something, I had gone to a local ESL association's conference in St. George. It happened that this acquaintance, we'll call her Jane to protect the innocent, was the president of this association and she was there. I knew what she was involved with, so I mentioned to her that I was working as a freelance writer and that my services were always available if she needed them.

Since this is a basically linear story with a set-up that lends itself to a particular pay-off, you can no doubt figure out what this e-mail of the 13th was about. Turns out 'Jane' was in a bind and she needed 30 expository pieces by the end of the month. That's right, in 18 days, 16 if you count me as starting on Monday the 16th.

The pieces needed to be roughly 900 words long. I had topics approved by the 18th. I don't write on Sunday because it's the Sabbath and I don't write on Saturday very much because I usually don't have time.

Oh, and we went to Kanab for three days last week.

Added up, that means I had eight regular work days to write 27,000 words. And do the research for the topics. And do language analysis for each piece.

I got it done with some late nights and the lovely research etc. help of my awesome wife. So that's what my writing career has consisted of for the last two weeks. I also wrote about four or five articles for http://www.helium.com/, one of which I will link to in a new post.

Anyway, that's what I've been doing on writing for the past little while. No real novel writing lately, but that's what the next post is about. This post got too long, so my character sketch is in the next one!